Journal from May 2011

Today’s devotional talks of doing things different: “throw your net on the right side.”  There are many things I need to do differently: money management, weight loss, relationships, teaching, being a mommy.  I guess that is just about everything!  

Lord, I also need to go about talking with you differently!!!!  I just ask and then listen for about 30 seconds and then move on.  Then during the day, I don’t stop and listen to you, I let the world get between us, and you are probably talking to me, but I can’t hear you, because of all the interference.  I know you will help me, when I ask, and I am asking now, but I, also, know that I have to be willing to stop during the day, and listen.  Quiet the interference, and listen to the Lord.  One of the men in Sunday School on Sunday, said it is hard to live a life listening to You.  That it is easy to live away from you.  I didn’t say anything at the time, but YES IT IS.  It is so much easier to live throwing out a token to you.  It makes us think that we are doing enough, but you are not doing anything.  We say we cannot hear you, so you must not be talking.  Maybe you don’t even hear us, so why even talk to you?  That is NOT the life I want to live.  It is the easier life, but life is not always easy, and I know that the life you have for me is SOOOO MUCH better than ANYTHING I could ever imagine!  Yes, Lord, I want your help in my daily life, from moment to moment, but I KNOW that I HAVE TO CHANGE MY WAY FIRST.  I need to be able to be still and listen, to ground myself EVERYDAY in Your word.  To take time with you, to talk with you, to listen to you, to bask in your love for me, to honor you, to obey you, to trust you, and to love you with all I have and am!!!!!!!!!

I can say “starting now”, or I can just do it.  I know I will stumble, I know I will not succeed the first time I try, but I must keep trying until I get it right.  That is the only way that I am going live life to YOUR FULLEST FOR ME! And to receive ALL THE BLESSINGS you have for me!!!!  So, Lord, I know you are reaching out to me, and I am going to keep trying to reach out to you, and we will meet on your Holy ground!!!

AMEN!